• tamaranedkov

Someone That I Used to Know.

Resolutions are hard. I had a conversation with my Bestie on December 30th about how I wanted 2019 to look. Understand, I don't make resolutions, never have. Why write stuff down that which may never come to fruition and can potentially make you feel even worse about yourself? I figured resolutions were for A types that needed a bit of control and a "list" to enter a new year.

But this year is different. I have some big goals. Not just your typical....go to the gym more often.....lose a few pounds....slow down on the wine consumption....I'm talking changing how I REPRESENT. Changing how I think. In motherhood, partnership, friendships, community and business. I feel to do that I have to be more present. Live with intention. Let go of everyone else's drama. And let's face it, many of us will take on someone else's problems and pain without blinking and completely get sidetracked on your own personal goals


All these thoughts have been hammered home this past holiday season with lots of deaths and illness. Most recently in the afternoon of December 30th, prior to hanging with my Bestie, my neighbour passed away in his sleep. He was successful and well respected and he touched so many people in his short life. It blew me away. I didn't know him. I only ever spoke to him once but his death had left me shocked, saddened and dumbfounded. I had a strong emotional reaction. We all know that life is short. But the on-slot of death and illness has really drilled the point home. My conclusion has been to spend less time on the negative stuff (cause it will always be there), chose my words carefully, forgive more readily and love my people whole heartedly. That can all sound like blah blah blah but when you catch yourself about to go off the rails and you can reign it in or change your reaction you actually feel like you've checked off something on that resolution list.

It's empowering to overcome programmed responses. To me, that's the way we get to unwind the programming that has potentially kept us down. That kept us on the hamster wheel looping through the same discussions and getting no further ahead.

For me, that's what 2019 will look like . It's only January 4 and I am talking to myself to stay the course to make those monster goals happen. I never said it would be easy. Lists are dumb. And resolutions are hard!!! Urgh!

Now off to the gym!!!

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